Arrow-right Camera
Subscribe now

This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

THE SLICE: Shedding some light on dark side of time retreat


There's nothing better than getting an extra hour of sleep.
 (The Spokesman-Review)

I‘m devoting today’s column to infrequently asked questions about Daylight Saving Time, which ends Sunday at 2 a.m.

We set our clocks back one hour.

Q: Shouldn’t we have DST all year?

A: No. The whole thing is ridiculous. The duration of sunlight is entirely predictable. We should simply adjust our schedules and quit monkeying with the clock.

Q: Is the angle of the sun wicked at this latitude or what?

A: The former. I put my sunglasses away a couple of weeks ago, but I’m thinking about retrieving them.

Q: Does the phrase “fall back” have origins in Druid bacchanals where the grog flowed freely and many revelers passed out?

A: No. It comes from an expression used to describe a military maneuver that is a close cousin of retreat.

Q: Do you think guys watching ABC’s “Pushing Daisies” do so because Anna Friel, who plays “Chuck,” is cute?

A: What do you think?

Q: Did you hear that some moron yelled “Shut up and sing!” while James Taylor was telling a story Monday night?

A: Yes. Unbelievable. How embarrassing for Spokane. Hope he didn’t hear it.

Q: I understand you owed several of your esteemed Grizzly colleagues a beer after Montana beat your Northern Arizona Lumberjokes last Saturday.

A:

Q: What is the best use of the hour we gain Sunday?

A: Studies show that many of us do not get enough sleep and that this takes a toll in numerous ways.

Q: So will it be darker sooner or lighter later or darker lighter or what?

A: Exactly.

Q: So it’s OK for people who want to “protect their family” to buy huge, gas-guzzling, pollution-spewing vehicles, but motorists who have the same goal in mind can’t use studded tires without being called names?

A: Actually, both options are legal. If you want to change that, contact your elected officials.

Q: If you happen to be awake at 2 a.m. Sunday, is it like experiencing a Vulcan mind-meld?

A: It’s more like getting caught in a rift in the space-time continuum.

Q: Can you get a Daylight Saving account that comes with free checking?

A: Perhaps Pink Floyd said it best.

The time is gone

The song is over

Thought I’d something more to say

Today’s Slice question: When the pizza arrives do you volunteer the coupon you mentioned on the phone or do you fork it over only if the delivery person requests it?

More from this author