Rocky marriage concerns friend

Dear Diane: My best friend, “Rhonda,” is in a terrible marriage, in my opinion. Her husband, “Donnie,” is cheating on her with the cashier at the garage where he works. To get back at him, Rhonda is spending all his money on jewelry and other expensive items and keeping them in a safe deposit box. When they are in public, Donnie is very verbally abusive to Rhonda. Rhonda, in turn, is verbally abusive back.

They have three children, and they are the ones suffering most by this because very little money is spent buying them good clothes or nutritious food. I think they should get divorced. However, Rhonda is now pregnant with her fourth child by Donnie because — get this — she’s “always wanted four kids.”

Is there anything I can do? Or is Rhonda just doomed?

— Frustrated in Fayetteville

Dear Frustrated: Whether Rhonda is doomed I cannot say. And, I don’t think that’s the issue at hand. The issue is whether you should meddle in her affairs.

The sad fact of life is that there are rocky marriages. Bad marriages. At least from your point of view and mine.

But Rhonda is well aware of Donnie’s infidelities and is getting whatever compensation she feels is necessary. She also has made the decision to stay with Donnie in order to bring another of his children into the world. Is this a good thing? Heavens no. Not by your benchmark or mine.

Now, as perverse as it sounds, it appears that despite all the backbiting, Rhonda and Donnie have a life together that seems to work at some creepy level. Unless the children are being physically abused, you should do absolutely nothing. If Rhonda and Donnie’s bickering is too much for you to bear, then you should stop associating with them.