The science of discipline

Using scientific research, U.S. News and World Report writer Nancy Shute shows how moms and dads can go wrong when it comes to discipline in a recent story called “Good Parents, Bad Results.”

The information is probably something many parents already know, but just maybe haven’t had much time to think about. (Our kids keep us busy, after all.) While I’m the kind of person who tends to trust my own intuition and rely on the lessons of past experiences, I still try and pay attention to research and various studies from universities. It’s one way, I think, that science can complement our intuitive intellect.

To summarize the article, Shute talked to researchers, scientists and various experts and came up with the eight most common mistakes that parents make:

•We fail to set limits.

•We’re overprotective.

•We nag, lecture, repeat. Then yell.

•We praise too much.

•We punish too harshly.

•We tell our kids how to feel.

•We put grades and SATs ahead of creativity.

•We forget how to have fun.

Any thoughts on all that? What are the most important lessons you’ve learned from experience?

For a link to the story, and to share your comments, visit the Parents Council blog at s-r.com/blogs/parents.

- Virginia de Leon

One last swat

Reader Jessie Norris weighs in on the ongoing spanking discussion:

“There was a time, not all that long ago, when it was considered acceptable for a husband to use physical discipline on his wife. Now we call that practice ‘domestic violence’ and it’s illegal.

“Why should physical punishment (of any kind) be acceptable when it involves a child if it isn’t when it involves an adult? There are plenty of adults who aren’t open to being reasoned with, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to hit them.”