The Slice: Like Elvis, they’ve left the building

You are about to see 15 names.

Six are characters Elvis played in movies. The others are people who once worked at The Spokesman-Review. Which are which?

The answers are right above today’s Slice question.

A) John Carpenter. B) Kim Crompton. C) Lucky Jackson. D) Howie Stalwick. E) Rusty Wells. F) Royce Gorseth. G) Chad Gates. H) Graham Vink. I) Clint Reno. J) Chuck Carter. K) Vince Everett. L) Mark Hester. M) Jim DeFede. N) Osler McCarthy. O) Tom Bradford.

•Perhaps you don’t really need to sit on your couch and watch even more sports: But here are 10 reasons to check out English soccer on TV (assuming you get the right channels).

1. The Premier League season gets under way this weekend. Check your listings.

2. To Americans accustomed to relentless hype and being yelled at, the low-key English sportscasters are a revelation. You never actually see them. They don’t just spout clichés. And they sound excited only when warranted.

Plus, they can use our language. One dismissed some inept defensive play as “shenanigans.” He also described the ebb and flow of one particular stretch as “inelegant.” Another characterized one team’s fruitless attack-strategy as “naïve.” The list goes on.

3. It’s fun to listen to fans in stadiums with names like Old Trafford and White Hart Lane singing en masse.

4. British beer actually tastes OK while watching Sunderland vs. Newcastle, or Liverpool at Manchester United.

5. If you didn’t grow up with it, the terminology, subtleties of play and back-stories are all part of a subculture that can seem new and intriguing.

6. Football, er, soccer haters say nothing ever happens. But that’s only true until it does.

7. No TV timeouts.

8. The teams that finish at the bottom aren’t rewarded with high draft choices. They are booted to a lower league.

9. Premier League players are from all over the world.

10. It’s kind of reassuring to see delirious or despondent throngs in another country who also need to get a life.

•No, that’s my passenger: Rick O’Conner knew what I meant about being in someone else’s car and feeling funny about the vehicle’s bumper stickers.

Only his identity crisis wasn’t over politics or some belligerent social-policy statement.

Near the end of his mom’s life, he would drive her places in her long Cadillac.

So there he was at the wheel of a car sporting a sticker that said “Foxy Grandma.”

•Answers: A, C, E, G, I, and K were Elvis characters.

•Today’s Slice question: At what point does “instant” communication just become noise?