The Slice: What’s your excuse to wake up and read it?

I’m making a list and checking it twice.

It consists of 25 possible answers to the following: Why, on this most festive day of the year, are you sitting there reading the newspaper?

Don’t try to deny it.

Besides, it’s a fair question. So see which answer comes closest to matching your explanation.

Let’s start.

1. “This is how I roll.”

2. “I read the newspaper every day. And no amount of figgy pudding or rummy tum tum is going to change that.”

3. “I want to see what high-profile acts of vandalism or animal abuse were committed in the Spokane area on Christmas Eve.”

4. “I can take only so much merriment.”

5. “I want to see if anyone around here has named a baby ‘Berm.’ ”

6. “Christmas? Bah!”

7. “There is nothing mutually exclusive about celebrating the Yule and spending a little quiet, quality time with the Swell Paper.”

8. “Everyone else is taking a nap.”

9. “Everyone else is passed-out drunk.”

10. “I live alone and Christmas at my home isn’t much like a very-special holiday movie.”

11. “It gives me joy to mutter at the Review.”

12. “I know I sent it in back in 1993, but I’m still waiting to see if The Slice is going to print that cute thing my granddaughter said.”

13. “Thursday’s paper has some of the features I most love to hate.”

14. “The comics never take a day off, so I can’t either.”

15. “It was stuffed into my stocking, which had been hung by the chimney with care.”

16. “I’m neither Christian nor Consumerian.”

17. “After watching my greedhead relatives in action this morning, I thought a few minutes spent reading about war and recession might brighten my mood.”

18. “I simply cannot eat pancakes and sausage links without looking at the newspaper.”

19. “Well, I’d turn on the local TV news, but I’m afraid they’ll start doing that Skype thing again.”

20. “Why not?”

21. “Like they said on ‘Seinfeld,’ I could read the sports section even if my hair were on fire.”

22. “The S-R and I have a love-hate thing going on.”

23. “My dog likes to hear me say, ‘Hey, listen to this.’ ”

24. “The newspaper actually tells me what’s going to be on KWSU.”

25. “My carrier got it here before the sun came up, so the least I can do is take a look.”

•Today’s Slice question: Did you stick with any of your 2008 New Year’s resolutions?