The Slice: Zag boss is a coach of few words

As my birthday present to GU basketball coach Mark Few today, I am going to conduct an interview but not trouble him for answers to my questions.

(Hey, he was a good sport about doing a Q-and-A with me several years ago. I don’t want to wear out my welcome.)

For the purposes of this transcript, I will borrow a format pioneered by the National Lampoon back in the 1970s.

OK, here we go:

The Slice: What’s it like to be linked in rumors to virtually every high-profile coaching vacancy in college basketball, and does that sort of national spotlight make it difficult for you to relate to the average Spokane slob who’s lucky to hold onto the job he has, even if he hates it?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Do you think there’s an age cut-off for finding Mayor Verner attractive?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Ever been tempted to tell a fan to get a life?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Are you glad that you have a name that’s easy to pronounce?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Do regular people seem short to you?

Coach Few:

The Slice: How do you feel about having your birthday so close to Christmas?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Do you think the North-South freeway will become a reality?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Are you a good dancer? Can you sing?

Coach Few:

The Slice: How many of Washington’s counties can you name?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Do you get HBO at home? Favorite show?

Coach Few:

The Slice: In what way are you like one of those genial but bumbling sitcom dads? In what way are you not?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Do you think the “War on Christmas” folks understand the establishment clause?

Coach Few:

The Slice: So it’s better to lose in December than in March, right?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Are you sorry the S-R is running fewer letters to the editor?

Coach Few:

The Slice: What’s something about Spokane that makes you shake your head?

Coach Few:

The Slice: Thanks for your time.

Coach Few:

•Today’s Slice question: What pop culture milestone anniversaries will you be noting in 2009?