Boomers and Beyond: Love – it does a body good
Cupid’s arrows are flying around wildly today. Stand up and get in the way!
It’s Valentine’s Day, leap year, too… double jeopardy for the die-hard bachelors out there, but it’s also double opportunity for anyone looking for romance, love and marriage.
Oh, you say you’re through with love … or, you think cupid’s arrow can’t strike you? Nonsense. True, romantic love can and does strike people who thought they were way past the age or the inclination to fall in love. That love bug can bite and suddenly we’re on cloud nine – our heart is soaring and we feel like a teenager again.
Ah, the euphoria!
“Love – it’s a wildly misunderstood, although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.” The author of this dazed response to being in love remains unknown.
Falling in love, being in love, feels great simply because it is. It’s great for our health, and it even boosts our immune system. Too bad they haven’t invented a way to bottle the stuff – that magic elixir of love – for those inevitable dry spells. But, lacking that, we’ll always have Valentine’s Day each year.
We can thank a 15th-century priest named Valentine for the most romantic day of the year. In the year 1500, the emperor had outlawed marriage as he was convinced unmarried men were better soldiers. One day, Valentine was caught secretly performing marriages and was immediately relieved of his head.
Consequently, Valentine became both a Christian martyr and the patron saint of lovers – and, thus St. Valentine. Since that sad day, St. Valentine’s birthday, Feb. 14, has been celebrated as a special day for lovers. Traditionally, young people would gather every Feb. 14, for a festival in his remembrance. The unmarried women would place their names into a basket and each young man would draw the name of a girl who was to be his companion for the celebration – and to “Be my Valentine.”
It’s true, Valentine’s Day is a day for sweethearts, for romantic love, and for anybody who has ever been in love. It’s a day when we can get by with being a sentimental sap, a day when it’s cool to be uncool … to be sappy.
It feels so good to lavish these silly little Valentine’s Day cards, sprinkled with arrows, red hearts and I love yous, on our friends. Receiving these “kisses by mail” feels good, too; they bring a smile to our faces and cheer to our snow-weary, news-weary psyches.
Love is many things to many people. To that fickle lover, Pablo Picasso, “Love is the refreshment of life.” “Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate!” from comedienne Sandra Dyke. Another comedienne, Rita Rudner, wisecracked, “Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times.”
The great playwright from the Spanish golden age, Pedro Calderon de la Barca, wrote in 1600, “When love is not madness, it is not love.” But an old French proverb advances a more gloomy outlook, “Love makes time pass; time makes love pass.” And, the French poet, Paul-Jean Toulet, famous for describing la vie Parisienne, confided, “Love is like one of those second-rate hotels where all the luxury is in the lobby.” But Oscar Wilde saw it this way, and I like this one, “Who, being loved, is poor?”
Regardless of your take on this thing called love, don’t miss the boat. By all means give your valentine a little gift. It matters not what it is, just that it is. Little-bitty things are nice, as long as they weigh at least one carat. Only kidding – well, partially anyway; is there any harm in mentioning it? We must ask for what we want, no?
The truth is we celebrate St. Valentine’s Day with reckless abandon. Every year we can be counted on to buy valentine cards, flowers and chocolates and other baubles and indulgences for those we love and this year we will spend a whopping $14 billion on valentine gifts. Supposedly, that’s an average of slightly more than $100 per consumer. Wow! (Have I been playing in the wrong league?)
In a different league, nevertheless still legitimate Valentine’s Day presents, would be some Dove chocolates, a little pot of bright primroses, a pretty bouquet or perhaps Oprah’s book of the month. A gift certificate for a couple’s massage is a very romantic idea. Less romantic, but always a hit with your guy is a homemade pie. This (major) labor of love says I love you, and I mean it. “Nothin’ says lovin’ like somethin’ from the oven,” advised Mrs. Pillsbury.
But whatever you do, don’t forget that mushy card – it really is the magic ingredient.