Just stick to off-the-rack

A decade after singling out the Spice Girls as fashion atrocities, Mr. Blackwell put just one of them – Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham – at the top of his 48th annual worst-dressed list.

“In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty Posh can really wreck-em,” the acid-tongued designer said.

Blackwell picked all five Spice Girls (who recently reunited) as a combined No. 1 in 1998, calling them “the only spices on the planet that have no taste.”

Beckham was followed on this year’s list by British singer Amy Winehouse (“Exploding beehives above, tacky polka-dots below, she’s part ‘50s carhop horror”) and actress Mary-Kate Olsen (“She resembles a tattered toothpick – trapped in a hurricane.”).

Rounding out the Top 10: Fergie, Kelly Clarkson, Eva Green, Avril Lavigne, Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan and Alison Arngrim.

Britney Spears, who has made the list many times before, is missing this year.

“I felt that it was inappropriate at this time to make comment, when her personal life is in such upheaval,” Blackwell said, adding: “I hope 2008 is a better year for her.”

Blowout, blowup - that’s Brit

Actually, things aren’t getting any better for Britney Spears.

On her first day of freedom after being hospitalized over the weekend following a police standoff over a child custody dispute, Spears’ 2008 Mercedes-Benz had a flat tire Monday night along Sunset Boulevard.

Police found it blocking traffic and towed it.

And later that night, her visit to the tony Four Seasons Hotel triggered a scuffle between a photographer and a security guard.

Immaculate deception

It’s finally official: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are expecting their first child together.

Kidman, 40, who was denying reports of her pregnancy as recently as last week, has two adopted children from her former marriage to Tom Cruise.

She recently revealed she had a miscarriage early in their relationship.

Inaccurate conception?

A new biography of Tom Cruise claims that his infant daughter, Suri, was conceived “Rosemary’s Baby”-style when wife Katie Holmes was impregnated with the frozen sperm of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

Cruise’s lawyer says the book by Andrew Morton, best known for his notorious bio of Princess Diana, is “outrageous, sick stuff.”

Well, hirsute yourself

Finally, in case you missed it – David Letterman‘s whiskers are history.

Letterman, who returned to his “Late Show” last week from a writer’s strike-caused hiatus sporting a bushy beard, had it shaved on Monday’s show by two barbers.

Quipped guest Tom Hanks: “Shaving beards on TV – that’s what shows without writers do.”

The birthday bunch

Sports announcer Dick Enberg is 73. Singer Joan Baez is 67. Actress Susannah York is 67. Guitarist Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin) is 64. Singer Crystal Gayle is 57. Actress Joely Richardson is 43. Singer Steve Harwell (Smash Mouth) is 41. Singer/guitarist Dave Matthews is 41. Singer A.J. McLean (Backstreet Boys) is 30. Singer Paolo Nutini is 21.