Frowns on facial fur

Dear Diane: I am a 20-year-old man and a pre-law student at a major university. One of the women in my class (let’s call her “Belinda”) has been showing interest in me this semester.

We’ve been out to dinner a few times, and we belong to the same study group. So far, things between us have been platonic — which is probably for the best. So much of my time is devoted to studying, I’m not sure I’d have the time for a relationship even if I wanted one.

Lately, Belinda has been gently pushing our platonic relationship toward something more physical. Whenever I drop her off at her dorm after a dinner date or study session now, she “jokingly” says, “What? No goodnight kiss?” She’s also been dressing in more revealing clothes for our “dates” (as she calls them).

Here’s the problem: Belinda has a mustache. A very obvious mustache. Even if I wanted a romantic relationship with her, there is no way I could work around that … thing. It really creeps me out.

I know we’re supposed to love people for who they are and not for their physical appearance. I know it’s what’s inside that counts. I don’t want to sound shallow, but there is no way I could ever kiss Belinda — even if she shaved or waxed that thing off her face.

What am I going to do? I don’t want to humiliate her. And since we’re both law students, we’re going to be in a lot of the same classes for the next couple of years.

— Turned Off in Toronto

Dear Toronto: Quit beating yourself up for being turned off by Belinda’s mustache. You aren’t shallow. There are some physical qualities we find attractive, and there are some we don’t — that’s human nature.

Politely, but firmly, tell Belinda that you don’t want a romantic relationship. Let her know that you aren’t ready for one at this point in your life; you need to be concentrating on becoming a lawyer. Also, quit going out on those dinner dates with her, and consider joining another study group.