The Slice: Arrrrr you ready to start a tradition?

The arrival of Talk Like a Pirate Day has me thinking of proposing Talk Like an Inland Northwesterner Day.

What would it take for that to catch on?

OK, I realize every day around here is Talk Like an Inland Northwesterner Day. But what would induce people in other regions to join in the Spokane-flavored fun?

Maybe what we need to do is blend these two linguistic celebrations.

You know, “Arrrrrr, the broken lamps and dismembered dolls at that yard sale were really spendy.”

No? Well, a few other examples come to mind.

“Shiver me fluoride.”

“Those marmots think they have the right to cross my lawn. Maybe a little buckshot will change their tune. Arrrrr.”

“Lookit me new truck, swabby.”

“Avast, ye alley garbage pick-up.”

“Keelhaul these potholes, me bucko.”

“Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for the wench.”

“Arrrrr, the animal control landlubbers are after me booty.”

“To the buffet, me hearties.”

“Yo-ho-ho and a bucket of huckleberries.”

“Arrrrr, the Cougs be suckin’ bilge water.”

No? OK.

Let’s move on.

•Fill in the blanks: “The Spokane media act like these are universal local passions, but I’ve lived here a long time and have never been to one (    ) game or attended a single (    ) at (    ).”

•Friday quiz: What do sports in Spokane and the classic sitcom “Bewitched” have in common? (It has nothing to do with Elizabeth Montgomery having played Ruth Coe in a movie.)

I’ll send a coveted reporter’s notebook to at least one reader (not necessarily the first) who comes up with the correct answer.

•Grand Poohbah’s Report: Fellow members of the Marmot Lodge, I am pleased to note that another summer has come and gone and, once again, I did not waste your time by requiring you to attend even one meeting.

You’re welcome.

Stay tuned for further lodge updates. Meantime, continue questioning authority and modeling civility.

•Warm-up question: What Spokane area single person has the pet with the best record of accurately reacting to its owner’s prospective romantic partners?

•Today’s Slice question: Which of your friends or relatives who passed away before surfing the Internet became commonplace would have most enjoyed accessing the online world?