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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Some days, it’s the place to be

Let’s start with a multiple choice question.

Sometimes Spokane seems like an episode of…

A) “The Dukes of Hazzard.” B) “Green Acres.” C) “Wonder Years.” D) “The Office.” E) “The Outer Limits.” F) “Deadwood.” G) “All in the Family.” H) “The Brady Bunch.” I) Other.

•Slice answer: Several readers said incorporating worn-out Bloomsday shirts in quilts is one way to respectfully process the remains.

•Speaking of T-shirts and quilts: “My best friend’s husband is a softball fanatic,” wrote Leslie Hunt. “He plays it, refs it, lives it, breathes it. When his T-shirt drawer became strained beyond reasonable capacity, she took all of his most cherished shirts and cut the arms, collars and bottoms off and made them into a beautiful king-sized quilt that has preserved his memories. Great recycling and sustainable living.”

•One week from today: Many businesses will hold the annual Bring Your Daughter or Son to Work Day.

Here’s hoping most of those kids can avoid getting laid off.

•Multiple choice 2: Whenever I see that Verizon Hub “paella” commercial, I feel the urge to …

A) Throttle that teenage boy and say, “You’ll eat it and you’ll like it.” B) Inform the mom that she is a truly lousy parent and explain why ordering a pizza for her brat is just helping create one more selfish twit utterly unprepared for real life. C) Enjoy Spanish cuisine. D) Not do business with Verizon. E) Other.

•Eavesdropping on preschoolers: Kathy Stout heard two 4-year-old boys talking. They were discussing their families’ cars. One of the boys was the son of a man with a stake in a Chevrolet dealership. And that kid had one key question for the other lad: “Why do you have a Dodge?”

•Speaking of preschoolers: “My friend’s 5-year-old was with us while we tended to his dying grandmother,” wrote Keely Emerine Mix.

Being a child, the boy named Xander didn’t really understand what was going on. So he was not being disrespectful when he felt the need to make an important announcement: “I don’t know how to whistle yet.”

•Write and wrong: A past Slice contest winner reported that he jots things down in his coveted reporter’s notebook only with his stolen Davenport hotel souvenir pen.

•Today’s Slice question: How many people who made it clear while they were alive that they did not want a funeral subsequently have their wishes ignored after death by their families?

Write The Slice a P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. For previous Slice columns, see www.spokesman.com/ columnists. If you don’t tell me your daytime phone number, your submission magically disappears.

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