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Annie’s Mailbox: Cheating wife behaving foolishly

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been together since high school. We have been married 17 years and have two boys, one 20 and the other 14. One night, my wife admitted that when she was in high school, she had sex with a teacher. This teacher married one of his students, although when he was later fired for reportedly taking advantage of his female students, she divorced him.

Eight years have passed since then, and this man is now a teacher at the same school where my wife works. Two friends independently told me they saw my wife kissing this man and watched the two of them walk into the washroom together. When I confronted my wife, she confessed to the kissing but said they never had sex. I find that hard to believe.

I no longer trust my wife and get very angry when I’m near her. I want a divorce, but I grew up without a father and would hate to leave my 14-year-old because I worry what will happen to him. My wife insists there is nothing going on, yet refuses to transfer to another school. She doesn’t want a divorce. Please give me some advice. – Saskatchewan, Canada

Dear Canada: Get counseling immediately, and tell your wife if she wants to save the marriage, she must go with you. She is behaving foolishly and disrespectfully and either doesn’t recognize how damaging that is or doesn’t care. We are astonished this man was given another teaching position, and if their affair (or whatever it is) becomes known to the administration, they could both be fired. One of them has to leave the school or your marriage is over.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
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