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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Talk about being frozen in time

SCC student Charlene Douglas has a question.

“Does a watched snow bank melt?” she wonders. “Is it like a pot of water that won’t boil until you turn your back? The snow in my backyard doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Except for the part that my dog likes to eat.”

Well, Charlene, my advice is to avert your eyes. It will all eventually disappear, though not necessarily in our lifetimes.

Does your dog do driveways?

•Re: last Monday’s pregnancy quiz: I can boil down most of the answers to one simple observation. It’s this: Those who are pregnant tend to discover that the thoughtful, considerate people around them seem to become even more so and the jerks and idiots just get more obnoxious.

•The littlest bailout package: So I had just exited the Review Tower and was on my way to the post office across the street.

A panhandler approached. And I remember feeling pleased.

You see, I knew I had a grand total of one dollar in my wallet. I usually carry a bit more than that. But on this day, for reasons that aren’t all that interesting, I had just a buck.

Anyway, the panhandler went into his act. Without really listening to him, I extracted my wallet from a pants pocket.

Opening it up for inspection, I said, “Look, I have just one dollar and I need it for the bus.”

Usually, I simply decline to give money to panhandlers. I don’t like being lied to, and I don’t think it’s an efficient way to address real needs.

But I try not to act all haughty or lay some judgment trip on the person.

So I looked down at my wallet. I discovered that I had been wrong. There were two dollars.

The panhandler, a scruffy guy with rheumy eyes, didn’t say a word.

There was only one thing to do. I reached in and pulled out one of the bills.

“Here you go,” I said.

The guy thanked me, and I continued on my way to the post office.

•Feedback from Friday: “Hockey, to me, is nuts,” wrote Carol Siegenthaler. “They just fight. Been to one game, and left early.”

•Slice answers: “In my house, I leave Post-its on the bathroom mirrors for not-to-be-missed notes,” said Barbara Douglas.

In Marge Wade’s home, notes have gone on the TV screen or the coffeepot.

And after asking what percent of people who own cell phones have never used them to do anything other than make or receive calls, I heard from Gary Polser. “They do something else?” he wrote.

•Today’s Slice question: Does humming a tune for someone else’s benefit ever not produce laughter?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. It’s impossible to overdo the onions in meatloaf.

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