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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: That’s a whole lot of nothing to consider

Nothing says “Spokane” like …

“Bloomsday.” – Keith LaMotte

“Skywalks.” – Carlos Lynch

“A ridiculously jacked up 4-wheel-drive vehicle parked on top of a snow berm in an otherwise bare and dry parking lot.” – Jeff Brown

“A nicely dressed man driving a beat-up truck with a baby seat next to him.” – Angie Hengen

“Snobby newspaper columnists.” – Mark Ruhe

“Idiots in oversized trucks and SUVs.” – Roger Yoder

“A greasy ballcap upon a greasy mullet, upon an unshaven face, upon a body wearing a wife-beater shirt.” – Liz Gruber

“Abysmally poor grammar and sentence structure employed by local media spokespersons, particularly and specifically alleged news personalities featured on commercial television stations.” – A.J. Lennox

“Marmots and mullets.” – Jim Walter

•A ’60s TV Western set in the Inland Northwest might have been called …: “Wheat Train.” – Jeffrey Neuberger

“Have Pickup Will Travel.” – Jamie Sciarrio

“CowSpoke.” – Deborah Chan

“Woodsmoke.” – Lawrence Killingsworth

“Spokanza.” – Dave Swett, Judy Killin, Brook Strang, Tom Stanich.

•See and be seen: “After a very tense drive home from Coeur d’Alene after dark behind a small car with taillights that were all but invisible because of road dirt covering them, I’m convinced that at least PARTS of a car should be washed frequently,” wrote Jacqueline Volz. “Headlights, taillights, and windshields for sure.”

•One reader’s theory: Those with the least regard for wildlife tend to be behind the development of subdivisions with names like Elk Run Estates.

•Five speed: 1. A reader named Ron, who noted that long hair gave Samson his strength, wondered what powers long hair gives people in Spokane.

2. When using one of those inkless wands to sign your name on an electronic I.D. device, is your penmanship laughably lax?

3. Steve Larsen wonders, “Did they call it Moses Lake before they ran the freeway through it?”

4. So much for stereotypes. The Slice heard from a reader who refers to her hybrid-driving neighbors as The Clampetts.

5. Tom Emerson Jr. reports that a week ago, at the David Byrne concert downtown, ushers tried to get people to stop dancing and clear the aisles during that song with the line, “This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco.”

•Today’s Slice question: Have there been memorable farewell e-mails at your workplace?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. For previous Slice columns, see www.spokesman.com/columnists. At some point, using those wet wipes on your glasses can border on obsessive.

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