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The Slice: How do you prevent those pregnant paws?

We’re awaiting your child-carrying tell-all. (The Spokesman-Review)
We’re awaiting your child-carrying tell-all. (The Spokesman-Review)

Monday is “Families” day in the Today section.

And I certainly want to do my part to enhance our coverage.

So today The Slice presents a quick quiz for women who are or have ever been pregnant.

I will report some of the answers next Monday.

OK, let’s start.

1. How do you discourage people from putting their hands on you without your permission?

2. If you have lived elsewhere, how does the Spokane area compare when it comes to pregnancy etiquette?

3. What did you do about co-workers providing a play-by-play re: changes relating to your breasts?

4. How did you decide when to go public with your news?

5. How do you feel about the expression “bun in the oven”?

6. How do you feel about the expression “great with child”?

7. What did you do when someone started telling a childbirth horror story?

8. Who surprised you by proving to be a great listener and regular source of encouragement?

9. If you work outside the home, how did your boss deal with the news?

10. Was it helpful when people speculated that you would have a 13-pound baby?

11. Did other mothers suddenly treat you as if you now knew the secret handshake?

12. At what point did you simply stop worrying about whether you were turning into a one-subject bore?

13. Ever catch a late-term glimpse of yourself in a mirror and feel your jaw drop?

14. What did you think of the movie “Juno”? How about “Knocked Up”?

15. How much unsolicited advice did you receive?

16. Did any of it prove to be valuable?

17. Did you find that being pregnant made you a magnet for seething zealots who wanted to share their social/political views?

18. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the father’s post-conception performance?

19. Did people grimace when you shared your short-list of possible names?

20. Did you glow, mostly throw up a lot or both?

21. How do you feel about the expression “blessed event”?

Today’s Slice question: I met a retired guy earlier this month who told me about switching careers as a young man after realizing he did not like the people he met in his original field. That got me wondering. How do you feel about those you encounter in your line of work?

Now let’s be clear. I’m not talking about how a police officer regards criminal suspects or what a retail clerk thinks of obnoxious shoppers. No, this question is about how you feel about your colleagues.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. Groundhog Day is only a week away.

 
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