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Friday, October 23, 2020  Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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Annie’s Mailbox: Sex while you’re sleeping is assault

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: Is it OK for a husband to have sex with his unconscious wife? I am a very deep sleeper. I went to bed with my pajamas on but woke up naked and discovered my husband had had sex with me. He can’t understand why I am unable to get over this. As a result, we are currently estranged.

His family says he did nothing wrong. My friends say it was sexual assault. He is also verbally abusive, and we’ve had a couple of physical altercations, too. He thinks I should forgive and forget everything, but I want a divorce. – D.D.

Dear D.D.: Many men believe a wedding license entitles them to sex on demand, but in this country, forcing himself on you without consent constituted sexual assault. Combined with the history of physical altercations and verbal abuse, this encounter was all about control and power. You can press charges, although it may be too late to report it. Depending on your individual situation, divorce may be your safest option, and you might wish to discuss this with a counselor before taking action.

Dear Annie: Last weekend, my mother-in-law went grocery shopping at a local store. She was approached by a stranger who asked to touch her. When my mother-in-law asked, “Why?” the woman stated she had “special powers” and told Mom that even though she had given up smoking, it was already “too late” and she had only a short time to live.

My mother-in-law could not continue to shop and left, confused and worried. Is there a way to deal with this comment now? – Upset DIL

Dear Upset: We know many readers will believe this woman had “special powers” to deduce illness, but it’s equally possible she is mentally ill and says this to everyone who appears to be in poor health. Since your mother-in-law is worried, encourage her to get a complete checkup and tell the doctor what happened in the store. If the news is good, it will cheer her, and if it’s bad, she will have an opportunity to get treatment.

E-mail questions to annies mailbox@comcast.net.
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