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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. To learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column, click here.

Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Maybe it’s time to get it off your chest

It’s all right to admit it.

You enjoy complaining.

I dare say we all do, to some degree.

Now I’m not calling anyone a complainer. It’s just that, well, some things get on a person’s nerves.

So let’s get right to it.

What do you most enjoy complaining about?

A) The Inland Northwest’s weather. B) The Spokesman-Review. C) Mark Few’s substitution decisions. D) Kids today.

E) Your pastor. F) Local TV news. G) Liberals. H) Conservatives.

I) Parking tickets. J) Your utility bill. K) Co-workers who call in sick a lot. L) Co-workers who come in when they are sick.

M) Studded tires. N) Movie theater talkers. O) Other drivers. P) Your neighbors.

Q) Your personal computer. R) Being left out of a will. S) The recent performance of your retirement account. T) People talking on cell phones while driving.

U) Telemarketing. V) Grocery baggers who put bread in with cans. W) Local elected officials. X) Your boss.

Y) Your ex. Z) Cigarette smoke.

More? You want more?

OK, it’s almost baseball season. Let’s play two.

A) Newcomers to our area. B) The fact that the one Spokane restaurant you really liked closed a few years ago. C) Loud personal watercraft. D) Potholes.

E) Hostile jaywalkers. F) The price of things. G) Contemporary craftsmanship. H) Your relatives.

I) Bicyclists who think they have a right to live or drivers who don’t seem to agree. J) Skateboarders and snowboarders. K) Littering. L) “Creative” baby names.

M) The wedding industry. N) The funeral industry. O) People who don’t pick up after their dogs. P) Public broadcasting pledge drives.

Q) Tax-return forms. R) That one passive-aggressive twit in your regular golf foursome. S) Cashiers critiquing your purchases or holding up the newspaper you are buying and surveying the front page while you wait. T) Change. Any kind of change.

U) Not having enough closet space. V) People who spit on sidewalks. W) Those in Spokane who seem to be in denial about our serious social ills. X) Hoopfest hot-dogs.

Y) Figure skating. Z) Newspaper columns that are essentially one long list.

•Today’s Slice question: How do you think you would react if you encountered a burglar in your home?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. For previous Slice columns, see www.spokesman.com/columnists. The Peaceful Valley in a “Twilight Zone” episode called “Valley of the Shadow” is stranger than the Peaceful Valley in Spokane.

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