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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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You’re obliged to invite her

Judith Martin

Dear Miss Manners: My birthday is coming up next month. I love having parties every year, but this year I’m a little stressed out: I got my invitations about a month ago because I saw them and absolutely loved them. I told one of my friends that isn’t as close to me as many of my other friends because I was pretty sure I was going to invite her.

Now that I need to start sending out invitations, I’m not so sure I want to invite her anymore. I don’t want her to feel left out or for her to think I’m mean, and I especially don’t want not inviting her to be a sin. Now whether or not to invite her is always on my mind. Should I invite her? Is it a sin if I don’t?

Gentle reader: If it’s your 14th birthday, your mother would tell you that once you announced the party to a prospective guest, you were obliged to invite her. How could she not feel left out if you told her about the party and then left her out?

If you are older, Miss Manners should not have to remind you that the rule is still in effect.

Readers may write to Miss Manners at MissManners@
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