Goober or birdbrain: Just where do you fit in?

The seven most common personality types in the Spokane area are revealed by reactions to seeing a sparrow or some other wayward bird flying around in a supermarket or up in the rafters of a big-box store.

1. Empathizer: Obviously worried about how the bird will find its way out of the store.

This person is sensitive and thoughtful. Seldom selfish and is a good listener.

2. Goober: Thinks the bird’s presence in the store is richly amusing.

Not necessarily a bad person, but can be slow to accurately assess consequences and implications. Listens without really hearing and prone to misreading unspoken signals.

3. Maroon (Bugs Bunny sense): Grins and covers top of head with hand as if shielding self from bird droppings.

This emotionally stunted individual is a big fan of many of TV’s most popular shows.

4. Big Heart: Can be seen speaking soft, calming words to the bird.

A caring, nurturing person who has the unfailing ability to consider the feelings of others. The kind of individual you want to have around on Thanksgiving.

5. Raisin Brain: Pretends to be firing a gun at the unfortunate bird.

Graceless boob with appalling lack of intuitive sense. Incapable of doing or saying the right thing.

6. Hope for the Future: Concerned child who plaintively asks how the lost flier is going to navigate its way out of the store.

This kid will grow up to be part of the solution. Chances are, his or her parents already are.

7. Co-Marmot: Doesn’t reveal emotions beyond a pursing of the lips, but hopes the bird gets home — maybe after it has a snack or two in the store.

Makes a lot of plans that never come to fruition. Has a few regrets. Clothes closet is a mess. But believes that we could all get along better if everyone lowered their voices.

Today’s Slice question: Has it gotten easier to be openly gay in Spokane?