The Slice: Nobody wins in workplace thermostat wars

There’s no actual record of the initial occurrence.

But sometime shortly after the first blinking, grunting humans wandered in from the fields and forests to plunk themselves down at desk jobs, some frowning office worker uttered the fateful words.

“It’s too hot in here.”

That almost certainly was quickly followed by someone 10 feet away grumbling, “It’s too cold.”

Thermostat wars have raged ever since.

According to a 2009 survey conducted by the International Facility Management Association, unhappiness with the temperature tops all other complaints about working conditions.

Now it’s certainly true that some buildings feel like meat lockers while others are more akin to saunas. But the complicating factor here is that the relationship of temperature and comfort is subjective.

The just-right setting for one person can strike someone else as cruel and unusual. Bob’s ideal temperature can have Sharon contemplating wearing gloves while using a keyboard.

Hugh Imhof, a communications executive at Avista Corp. headquarters, summed up the challenge facing facilities managers: “They can never make everyone happy.”

That might be especially true at this transitional time of year, when kick-started heating systems respond to cool nights and brisk mornings by warming up workplaces too much or too little, depending on your perspective.

Some people become stealth thermostat-changers. Others send overheated e-mails to building managers. And still others simply request that the HVAC folks figure out a way to defy the laws of physics. You know, make the air at one person’s cubicle register a consistent 68 degrees while allowing the woman at the next desk to bask in her desired 74 degrees.

There are, of course, all sorts of office layouts and a broad spectrum of heating and cooling capabilities. Some businesses have exacting requirements about temperature settings because of special equipment or sensitive production processes. Moreover, there are different schools of thought about the temperature at which employees are most efficient.

But perhaps the most vexing variable in this whole equation — with the possible exception of menopause — is the presence of inconsiderate people.

Someone who basically says, “I insist on the temperature I want, everybody else be damned” can’t really be regarded as part of the solution.

For some, attempting to assert their will over the thermostat can be a control issue or, as clinical psychologist Laura Asbell put it, “a power behavior.”

Also, she said, some people simply see degrees settings in black and white terms. That is, the temperature they desire is right and the number someone else might prefer is wrong.

“That’s more typically male, but not always,” said Asbell.

So is there an approach better than ruthless dictatorship or playing thermostat yo-yo?

Sure. People can talk, acknowledge differing perspectives and try to come up with compromises or at least partial solutions. That’s what happened at the medical office where Karen Buck works.

“We have a boss who is very cold-blooded, at least as far as his body temp is concerned,” she said. “He is always cold, so he will turn the thermostat up to about 80. Soon he has all his employees gasping from the heat, while he continues to shiver.

“We solved that problem by getting him one of those portable heaters that look like a tiny radiator. Now he can drape himself over it and be as warm as he likes while the rest of us can breathe.”

Still, in many settings, the goal of pleasing all the people all the time might simply be unrealistic. Our personal temperature preferences are just too discordant. And many workplaces’ HVAC systems simply cannot deliver rapid response, neatly zoned thermal nirvana — even with brought-from-home fans and space heaters.

Dressing to suit your particular indoor climate can help. But let’s not kid ourselves. If you are sweating at your desk, there are only so many layers you can take off. If you are so cold that your fingers feel like petrified wood, donning a sweater isn’t going to magically make it all better.

Maybe the best we can hope for in some situations is to call a truce in the thermostat war and share the grumbling.

North Idaho real estate specialist Forrest Schuck works in an open office in an old building. The result? “Everybody is equally unsatisfied with the heat distribution,” he said.

Sounds fair.

Today’ Slice question: How did you negotiate office temperature issues at your workplace?