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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. To learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column, click here.

Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Are you worthy of a free ride?

A reader in North Idaho generously handed over a pair of one-time passes to Silverwood Theme Park with the request that The Slice give them to some worthy recipient.

If you would like a shot at winning them, take the following Rollercoaster Worthiness Quiz. Then submit your answers to The Slice via regular mail or e-mail. Be sure to include your address and a daytime phone number.

In the case of a tie, I will put the names in a hat, find a lovely assistant and then conduct a drawing.

1. Are you criminally insane? A) Yes. B) Define “criminally.” C) Not when I’m on my meds. D) No, but I don’t really think there’s anything all that amusing about mental illness.

2. Do the drivers in your family pay attention to the road when behind the wheel? A) No. B) Yes, except when we are on the phone. C) Yes, except when we are texting. D) Yes.

3. Pets make great gifts because … A) They’re so cute. B) You can name them. C) It shows what a thoughtful person you are. D) Animals should never be used as surprise presents. They represent a longtime commitment — one that, frankly, many people are simply not capable of honoring.

4. What should you say to someone in the express lane who has a few more than 10 items? A) “So, you can’t count or what?” B) “Unmannered dog!” C) “Are you criminally insane?” D) Nothing. It’s not a big deal.

5. What’s going to get Spokane headed in the right direction? A) Voting like this is Oklahoma or Alabama. B) Comments posted on blogs by people with zany pseudonyms. C) Tight tops. D) More spitting. E) Creative denial. F) Criminally insane letters to the editor. G) Imagination, optimism and tough love.

6. In 25 words or less, why should your family win the Silverwood passes?

Today’s Slice question: What does the size of your TV say about you?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. For previous Slice columns, see www.spokesman.com/columnists. You wouldn’t be the first to receive a chain saw as an anniversary present.

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