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Saturday, December 14, 2019  Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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Annie’s Mailbox: You can visit; he can attend funeral

By Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My husband and I have many elderly relatives who live in other states. Due to the costs of airline tickets, hotel rooms and car rentals, we don’t visit often. However, when one of them passes on, my husband is the first to jump on a plane to attend the funeral. I think it would be better to skip the funeral and visit while they are alive. Please settle this for us. – Now or Later

Dear Now: We are in favor of visiting relatives while they can appreciate it, but we know that not showing up for a funeral can create ill will with the remaining family. If that’s an issue for you and money is tight, you can compromise. You visit the relatives now, and your husband can attend the funerals later.

Dear Annie: My heart goes out to “Son of a Portly Dad.” I, too, was way past obese at 426 pounds. I’d been retired for four years and never left the house until my wife got me to join a gym, see a personal trainer and completely change my diet.

Along with my wife’s help and support, we were both able to lose weight and become more physically fit. After only 18 months, I’ve lost 152 pounds and my wife has lost more than 50. I went from three minutes on the elliptical trainer to 90. If I can do it, anyone can.

It will take a commitment from Mom and support from the siblings. They all must set good examples and not tempt Dad with unhealthy food. I wish him luck. – Been There in Kentucky

Dear Kentucky: Thanks for your words of encouragement. The difference, of course, is that you were motivated to lose weight and willing to do the necessary work to get there. We hope “Son” can convince his father that he can do the same.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.

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