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The Slice: Do you hear what I hear? A child, a child, clueless in the night

The Slice would like to note the winter solstice by sharing the transcript of a wide-ranging interview with a Spokane toddler in a snowsuit.

You won’t believe what this kid had to say.

Slice: Do you think we’ll have a white Christmas?

Kid in a snowsuit: Huh? What? Can’t really hear you. Got this hood on.

Slice: Do you fear that young people’s devotion to high-tech forms of communication will inevitably lead to an erosion of interpersonal skills, a celebration of narcissism and an inability to recognize social nuance?

Kid in a snowsuit: What?

Slice: Could you discuss the pros and cons of the rural influence on Spokane’s character?

Kid in a snowsuit: Did you say something?

Slice: Do sports scholarships make sense?

Kid in a snowsuit: One problem with riding the bus is passengers who smell like ashtrays.

Slice: Do you think that if certain people at the newspaper have so many beefs with local TV news, maybe they could do us all a big favor and simply refrain from watching?

Kid in a snowsuit: Macrobiotic diet? No, I wouldn’t even try.

Slice: What’s new on your Facebook page?

Kid in a snowsuit: Out There Monthly? Yes, I’ve seen it.

Slice: What goes through your mind when you see a video tour of someone’s home and there are no books in sight?

Kid in a snowsuit:

Slice: Should all American children learn a second language?

Kid in a snowsuit: Que?

Slice: Do you suspect that some people in the arts secretly resent Bloomsday, Hoopfest, et cetera?

Kid in a snowsuit: I have never met Cheryl-Anne Millsap.

Slice: How do you decide what to read at bedtime?

Kid in a snowsuit: I believe that faith should be coupled with good works.

Slice: Do you think the new census data will finally disabuse some in Spokane of the assumption that everyone went to college?

Kid in a snowsuit: Well, the B-17 had elegant lines but the B-24 could carry more bombs and had greater range.

Slice: Did “House” jump the shark with the whole Cuddy romance?

Kid in a snowsuit: What? Pale ale? Joe Shogan? Didn’t get that.

Slice: What will we do without those little plastic film containers?

Kid in a snowsuit: No one my age remembers Expo ’74, so I’m not sure what to tell you.

Slice: Thanks for your time.

Kid in a snowsuit: What?

Today’s Slice question: What would Spokane be like if everyone here who ardently admires Portland suddenly moved there?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. How would you look in HD?

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