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The Slice: Do you hear what I hear? A child, a child, clueless in the night
The Slice would like to note the winter solstice by sharing the transcript of a wide-ranging interview with a Spokane toddler in a snowsuit.
You won’t believe what this kid had to say.
Slice: Do you think we’ll have a white Christmas?
Kid in a snowsuit: Huh? What? Can’t really hear you. Got this hood on.
Slice: Do you fear that young people’s devotion to high-tech forms of communication will inevitably lead to an erosion of interpersonal skills, a celebration of narcissism and an inability to recognize social nuance?
Kid in a snowsuit: What?
Slice: Could you discuss the pros and cons of the rural influence on Spokane’s character?
Kid in a snowsuit: Did you say something?
Slice: Do sports scholarships make sense?
Kid in a snowsuit: One problem with riding the bus is passengers who smell like ashtrays.
Slice: Do you think that if certain people at the newspaper have so many beefs with local TV news, maybe they could do us all a big favor and simply refrain from watching?
Kid in a snowsuit: Macrobiotic diet? No, I wouldn’t even try.
Slice: What’s new on your Facebook page?
Kid in a snowsuit: Out There Monthly? Yes, I’ve seen it.
Slice: What goes through your mind when you see a video tour of someone’s home and there are no books in sight?
Kid in a snowsuit:
Slice: Should all American children learn a second language?
Kid in a snowsuit: Que?
Slice: Do you suspect that some people in the arts secretly resent Bloomsday, Hoopfest, et cetera?
Kid in a snowsuit: I have never met Cheryl-Anne Millsap.
Slice: How do you decide what to read at bedtime?
Kid in a snowsuit: I believe that faith should be coupled with good works.
Slice: Do you think the new census data will finally disabuse some in Spokane of the assumption that everyone went to college?
Kid in a snowsuit: Well, the B-17 had elegant lines but the B-24 could carry more bombs and had greater range.
Slice: Did “House” jump the shark with the whole Cuddy romance?
Kid in a snowsuit: What? Pale ale? Joe Shogan? Didn’t get that.
Slice: What will we do without those little plastic film containers?
Kid in a snowsuit: No one my age remembers Expo ’74, so I’m not sure what to tell you.
Slice: Thanks for your time.
Kid in a snowsuit: What?
Today’s Slice question: What would Spokane be like if everyone here who ardently admires Portland suddenly moved there?