His online practice bad for marriage

Dear Annie: I’ve been married for 29 years to a man I adore. We have had our ups and downs, but have weathered the storms because we both believe we are meant to be together. But we have a problem I don’t know how to solve.

“Joe” plays an online role-playing game that I have never been comfortable with. And he always gets involved with someone online, and it is always a woman. They can’t advance in their game unless they work together.

Several years ago, Joe became emotionally attached to another woman and left me for a while. When he came back, I thought those things were behind us, but I keep discovering lies. I know he meets up with this woman online every day while I am at work. My kids can hear the sound of her voice.

This torments me so much that I can barely function at work. I love my job, but I cry in the bathroom, and people are starting to ask questions. I have finally realized that Joe is going to do this type of thing forever, and it breaks my heart. Joe treats me beautifully when we are together, but I don’t want to share him with other women.

I am planning to start counseling before I have a nervous breakdown. I don’t want to lose this man, but I have to save myself. Don’t you think these women should consider the time they are spending online with someone who is married? Is there any hope for me? – Crying Every Day

Dear Crying: Don’t blame “these women” for Joe’s behavior. The world of online gaming has plenty of men he could team up with, but he obviously makes the effort to find females. Joe’s history indicates he becomes attached to his online friends, which is unhealthy for your marriage. If he cannot see (or doesn’t care about) the damage he is causing, things don’t look good. We are glad you will be getting counseling. It will help.