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Married lover’s wife has claim to money

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I have been with the man of my dreams for a little more than three years. We have a son together, and I am the happiest I can remember being. There is just one problem. “Karl” is still married. Karl lives with our son and me, but every time his wife or one of their kids snaps their fingers, he jumps. Sometimes, that means our toddler gets the short end of things and so do I.

This wouldn’t bother me so much if Karl would finally get his divorce. I’ve asked him about it, and he always says he has to “talk to his wife,” but he won’t do it in front of the children and she is never without at least one of them. On top of that, she doesn’t have a job and gets almost half of Karl’s paycheck. Karl says the kids would be homeless if he didn’t give her the money.

I would be more tolerant if he had some sort of court paper limiting how long she can suck us dry. I love him and one day would like to be able to afford a house or even a family trip. Any suggestions? – In Love but Fed Up

Dear In Love: Sorry to break it to you, but the wife isn’t going to make it easy for Karl to get a divorce, assuming he truly wants one (and we have our doubts). He likely will be supporting her and certainly the children until the youngest is 18. She’s not sucking you dry. That money belongs to her. Karl should either get a divorce or go back to his wife. This limbo situation is not fair to anyone. Tell him it’s time to man up and do the right thing already.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at
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