Annie’s Mailbox: Tell granddaughter you’re disappointed

Dear Annie: I have two 21-year-old granddaughters who live in different states. My son was never married to “Shannon’s” mother, and there are a lot of hard feelings between them. My other granddaughter, “Christy,” recently married, and I traveled to another state to attend her wedding.

At Christy’s wedding reception, my husband and I were seated with both of our sons and the bride’s mother. There was room at our table for Shannon and her boyfriend, so I invited them to sit with us, but she refused. I didn’t understand why, so I went over to talk to her. Christy saw me and told her father that I was not permitted to talk to Shannon at her wedding.

When I was informed of this, I was taken by surprise. I thought I had a good rapport with her. I love both of my granddaughters, but I am very hurt by their rude behavior. I have been helping them with college and giving them holiday and birthday gifts, but I no longer want to contribute anything toward either of them. What is happening in our world that a 21-year-old has the nerve to tell her 77-year-old grandmother who she can and cannot speak to? I want them to learn that there are consequences for their actions. Should I ignore their behavior or stop all payments? – Troubled Grandmother

Dear Troubled: Shannon was not being rude when she refused to join your table. She was trying to avoid an argument. Christy, however, showed terrible manners and has no business dictating which grandchildren you can speak to, especially at her wedding, which is a family occasion. Punishing her financially is up to you, but be sure to explain why you are unhappy with her disrespectful behavior.