If you have a cold, steer clear of the party

DEAR MISS MANNERS : My husband and I attended a social function where we were meeting a lot of new people. I had a very bad cold, although I had taken some cold medicine so it wasn’t blatantly obvious.

When people tried to shake my hand I would say, “I’m sorry, but I have a terrible cold and I don’t want to get you sick, but it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

After we left my husband was angry and said that everyone thought I was either stuck up or a crazy germophobe. Now I’m embarrassed to see any of these people again.

I honestly didn’t mean to offend, but I’m a nurse and I know that’s one of the best ways to pass germs around. I just didn’t want to be a Typhoid Mary and spread my illness to everyone.

I thought I was doing the polite thing. Do I owe these people an apology?

GENTLE READER: For trying to avoid giving these people your cold? No. For not trying hard enough? Yes.

Miss Manners is neither a nurse nor what you call a crazy germophobe. But she can tell you that the new people you met socially did not consider it a pleasure to meet someone with a terrible cold. And she can understand your embarrassment about encountering anyone who may have caught it.

Next time, please stop worrying about the cover-up. Just stay home.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know there are a lot of etiquette rules regarding weddings, but this is a new one for me: My husband and I were invited to the wedding of a couple we both know and like. We do not have a lot of mutual friends, so we won’t know many people at the wedding besides the bride and groom and two other people. My husband will be out of town on the day, so I wanted to bring a friend (male, but with my husband’s approval) so that I would have someone to talk to and enjoy the wedding with.

My mother says that since the invitation was to “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” I cannot just bring along another, who would be a stranger to the couple.

I say two of us were invited and two of us should be able to go. What say you?

GENTLE READER: Really? The idea is new to you that people invite specific people to a wedding, rather than issuing tickets that say “Admit two”?

Miss Manners asks you to think back to your own wedding, when you weighed each name on the guest list. Would you have been just as happy if those you chose to invite had passed on their invitations and had chosen substitute companions (so they wouldn’t be bored having to meet your other guests)?