Poem in honor of Memorial Day

Dear Readers: Today is Memorial Day. Please take a moment to remember and appreciate the sacrifices made by the men and women who have served their country. In their honor, we would like to reprint one of our favorite poems on the subject, by John T. Bird of Birmingham, Ala.:

Last Monday in May we pause to remember those who died

with so much courage so much pride.

They’ll never come back but memories endure

to remind us of freedom: fragile, pure.

We’re worthy of their sacrifice if we pause each

day not just on the last Monday in May.

Dear Annie: My wife and I have four grown children. I was pretty strict – no dating until 16, no staying out after midnight, no smoking or drinking. The kids were disciplined, but never spanked. They had chores, but could spend the money they earned any way they liked. I thought they turned out pretty well.

After they left home, my wife and I divorced after 26 years of marriage. Slowly things began to change, and now my two daughters won’t speak to me and the boys think I was too hard on them growing up.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out what has happened and why they remember their childhood so much differently than I do. – Stumped

Dear Stumped: Children often remember their childhoods differently than their parents and even their siblings, because the memories are filtered through their young, self-absorbed interpretations. In your case, there could also be many negative associations triggered by the divorce.

If your kids bring up an event that you recall differently, say so without implying that their memories are faulty. Instead, in a neutral tone, tell them how you remember it, and say you did the best you could and that you love them dearly and are proud of them. Then occasionally remind them of happier times that they presumably enjoyed.