Gay teens find hope on the Web

Nick Wheeler once thought it was impossible to be gay and happy.

The Internet changed that.

Wheeler, 26, who grew up in a Mormon household in a 4,000-person town in Idaho, says that after discovering blogs and YouTube videos, he realized gay people did, in fact, lead fulfilling lives.

“That was enough to give me hope that there were other people out there who felt like I did,” he says.

Now, he wants to do the same for others. And it’s why he decided to make a video for the It Gets Better Project, a YouTube channel launched to tell teenagers who are being bullied because of their sexuality that it does, indeed, get better.

The project was sparked by several recent suicides. Tyler Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers University in New Jersey, jumped off the George Washington Bridge after his sexual encounter with another man was broadcast online.

Billy Lucas, a 15-year-old from Greensburg, Ind., hanged himself after being harassed at school. Asher Brown, a 13-year-old from the Houston suburbs, shot himself after coming out.

And 13-year-old Seth Walsh from Tehachapi, Calif., died, a week after he hanged himself in his parents’ backyard following a barrage of taunting and bullying.

Seattle-based sex columnist Dan Savage, editorial director of The Stranger weekly newspaper, says he couldn’t stand to see another teen die. So he sat down in front of a camera with his partner, Terry Miller, and started talking.

They talked about the bullying they endured as teenagers, how they met and what life is like now. And they invited others to send in their video testimonials.

“There were no gay people in my family and no openly gay people at my school, but I was picked on because I liked musicals and I was obviously gay and some kids didn’t like that and I did get harassed,” Savage says in the candid, 8-minute video.

Since Sept. 21, the channel has clocked more than 1.2 million views. More than 650 people – young and old, gay and straight, religious and atheist – have submitted their own stories.

There’s a sprinkling of celebrities, including Ellen DeGeneres, “Project Runway” co-host Tim Gunn, Chris Colfer from “Glee” and blogger Perez Hilton.

Savage, 45, has taken to carrying his laptop everywhere to review submissions to the channel. He’s been overwhelmed by the response, and at times, he’s cried from what he’s seen.

“It just runs the gamut of experiences,” he says.

In his video, Wheeler describes being told that homosexuality “wasn’t something that was natural. It was something that could only bring sadness.”

Gunn, who comes across as a tough mentor for aspiring designers on “Project Runway,” uploaded a video Oct. 5.

“As a 17-year-old youth who was in quite a bit of despair, I attempted to kill myself, and I’m very happy today that that attempt was unsuccessful,” he says.

“It will be better, I promise,” adds Gunn, 57, before blowing a kiss to the camera.

Stephen Sprinkle, a 58-year-old ordained Baptist minister from Dallas, sits against a backdrop of books in his office. In a calm voice, he describes being closeted for 20 years and the freedom he felt when he came out.

“I teach in a divinity school and I love what I do,” says the professor of theology at Brite Divinity School in Fort Worth, Texas. “I enjoy talking about God all day long and I’m as out and free as I can be.”

The videos aren’t limited to gay people.

Hudson Taylor, a straight assistant wrestling coach at Columbia University, says he was overcome with a sense of urgency after seeing Savage’s video.

Taylor, 23, is an activist for gay rights; in college he wore a sticker for the Human Rights Campaign, a leading gay advocacy group, on his wrestling helmet.

“A 30-second video can make a big difference,” he says.

The popularity of the project has underscored the need for more comprehensive programs in schools to deal with bullying, says Carolyn Laub, executive director of the Gay-Straight Alliance Network.

The network has launched its own video project, called Make it Better, in which students and adults can upload video messages describing what they are doing now to prevent suicide and make things better for lesbian and gay youths in schools.

“Students are being called derogatory slurs, and very rarely are people intervening,” Laub says. “That creates the culture that’s happening every single day.”

Nine out of 10 gay teenagers experience bullying and harassment at school, according to the 2009 National School Climate Survey, an annual survey by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students are three to four times more likely to commit suicide than straight students, according to a report by the National Education Policy Center and the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law.

In Washington, the state’s anti-bullying law, passed in 2002, has not brought a decline in anti-gay bullying, according to a state report.

Savage realizes his project won’t stop harassment of gay teens. But he says the videos can offer teenagers hope, and the promise of acceptance with time.

“They need to see that families come around,” he says.