Grandma suspects child being abused

Dear Annie: I took care of my grandson three days a week for the first two years of his life. He is now 3, and I have not been allowed to see him for nearly a year because I noticed clear evidence of sexual abuse and told my son.

I took my observations to many professionals, including pediatricians, therapists, Child Protective Services, a family law attorney and even therapists who treat perpetrators. They all agreed there was abuse.

My daughter-in-law has a history of dysfunction. She was diagnosed with Munchausen syndrome, which means she makes up stories to get attention. My son is depressed, drinks too much and is a workaholic who is seldom home.

I had no way proving my grandson was being abused. The result is, no one can do anything except slowly build a case so that if future reports come in from teachers or doctors, there will be a record. The tragedy is that the abuse has to continue for many more years before there might be enough evidence to take action.

There is now a second child, but I’ve not been allowed to see him. I keep encouraging my son to figure this out and seek help. He refuses to believe any of it and demonizes me for “lying.” I’ve been told there is nothing else I can do, but am hoping you or your readers have suggestions. – Northern California

Dear California: If your grandson regularly sees a pediatrician, any sexual abuse should be noted and reported. We are surprised this hasn’t happened and worry that perhaps you are misinterpreting the signs. Please contact stopitnow.org for more information and assistance. If you are certain there is abuse, we urge you to find a way to get back into your son’s good graces so you will be in a position to help those children. Say you’re sorry. Beg for forgiveness. Whatever it takes. Those boys need someone to watch out for them.