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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Former co-worker has wife worried

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar Kathy Mitchell

Dear Annie: My husband, “Frank,” retired three years ago, after more than 40 years with the same company. He frequently mentioned a co-worker, “Dolly,” saying how nice she was and what good friends they were. He wondered how she was doing. Once, he even said he missed her, but the expression on my face must have made him rethink that.

Last week, I ran into one of Frank’s former co-workers and asked about my husband’s relationship with Dolly. The co-worker said they seemed to have a strong attraction, but assured me it was probably just an office flirtation between two married colleagues. Then he said, “They only went out to lunch together a few times.” Annie, Frank never once told me he had lunch with Dolly.

Should I mention this encounter to Frank and tell him what I suspect? The other day he was texting when I walked into the room, and he immediately stopped and put his phone down. He was visibly shaken. When I asked who he was texting, he claimed it was his brother. Now I’m thinking of checking his email, something I never would have done before.

During our 40-year marriage, I always trusted Frank, but now I am uncertain about his affections. What should I do? – In Doubt

Dear Doubt: This could be an ongoing flirtation and nothing more, but at this point, your marriage is in jeopardy regardless. Please discuss this with Frank, openly and honestly. Tell him what you know. Explain that his behavior has eroded your trust. Ask him to go with you for counseling to talk about this with a neutral party. If he refuses, go without him and decide how best to handle this.

Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.