Getting no help from fiance, sister

Dear Annie: Five months ago, I begged my sister to move in with me to get her away from her abusive boyfriend. It took some convincing and tough love, but she finally ceased contact with him completely. Three months after she moved in, my fiance and I found out that we were expecting a baby. We set a wedding date, and he moved in immediately.

We are getting married next weekend, and I am losing my mind. Neither my fiance nor my sister is paying their share of the bills. Neither wants to clean the house. In fact, they don’t seem to have grown up at all, even though we will soon be adding to our family. They both ignore basic responsibilities and think it’s outrageous that I would put mowing the lawn ahead of poker night at the bar.

There isn’t enough room in the house for the three of us, much less a baby, and the situation is compounded when my fiance’s 4-year-old son visits. My sister says she plans to move out before the baby is born, but I don’t believe her.

I am a college graduate with a great job, and I worked hard to get where I am. I’m willing to do whatever is necessary to give our child that same security, but it feels like I have two overgrown adolescents in the house. I can’t wait to be a mother, but I’m beginning to think I would be better off doing it alone. How can I get my fiance and sister to grow up and understand the changes that are coming? – N.E.

Dear N.E.: If your fiance doesn’t understand the need to contribute to the maintenance of his home, he is not ready to be a husband and father. And your sister must find her own place as soon as possible. Her presence compounds the problems with your fiance. The two of them feed off of each other, looking for ways to avoid responsibility. You’ve been a good sister. Help yours find another place to live, and then get into counseling with your fiance as soon as possible.