Always on phone, wife ignores hubby

Dear Annie: “Help” said his adult daughter and wife were “enmeshed” and he was tired of the daughter’s never-ending phone calls. You didn’t have much sympathy and urged him to leave it alone.

Maybe that was the best response, but shouldn’t there be some limit to the time one’s spouse spends talking on the phone, especially if it is sapping the life out of the marriage?

My wife, “Doris,” is close to her mother and sister – too close if you ask me. They both call multiple times a day, and Doris never fails to answer. She says “it’s not polite” or “it might be an emergency.” Add in the occasional call from other family members and friends, and Doris is on the phone at least five hours a day and longer on weekends. Calls are rarely shorter than 30 minutes. As a result, I am lucky to get five minutes of uninterrupted time with her.

I can’t tell you how many conversations, family dinners, vacations, walks and, yes, lovemaking sessions have been spoiled by incoming phone calls. We haven’t watched a TV show together for years because I got tired of taking four hours to get through a two-hour movie. I spend most of my time doing things on my own while Doris yaks.

I’ve proposed every compromise I can think of, but realized long ago that nothing was going to change. Doris is the sweetest person I know, and I won’t leave her over this. But had I known this was going to be my life, I never would have married her. – Always on Hold

Dear Always: It’s too bad Doris doesn’t realize the damage she has done to your relationship. Show her this letter – or better yet, call her.