Arrow-right Camera
Subscribe now

This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

The Slice: Address the direction of your life

Are street names destiny?

Liz Cox was thinking about the whole “How goes the battle?” thing when she finally got around to reading a magazine piece on procrastination. It mentioned the dithering Civil War general, George McClellan.

“I’m wondering if the people who work or live on McClellan Street in Spokane are afflicted with chronic hesitancy, dillydallying and inertia?” Cox said.

No need to stop there.

Do those on Abbott Road enjoy a lively round of “Who’s on first?”

Do people living on Altamont think it’s a good idea to hire Hells Angels to provide security?

Do those on Audubon know their birds? Did residents on Baltimore watch “The Wire”?

Do those on Belt really know how to toss one back? Are the folks on Boone the rippin’est, roarin’est, fightin’est people in Spokane?

Do those on Buckeye have psychic connections to Ohio?

Do people on Calvin tend to be Presbyterians?

Are those on Casey assumed to be mighty? Are those on Crown secretly royalists?

Do those on Darcy imagine themselves as Jane Austen characters?

Do residents on Euclid have a knack for geometry?

Do those on Fleetwood all have a copy of the “Rumours” album? Do those on Funk also bring in da noise?

Are those on Gillis known as “Dobies”?

Does everyone on Houston revere the movie “Local Hero”?

Do you address a resident of Howe as “Gordie”?

Can the people on Judy do an impression of Goober Pyle pretending to be Cary Grant?

Do those on Luke have a favorite part of the New Testament?

Do people on Mabel tire of hearing recitations of Carling Black Label beer commercials?

Do those on Maxwell refer to their homes as “the Maxwell House”?

Are Napa residents wine savvy? Are those on Nixon not crooks? Are those on Partridge forever being told, “C’mon, get happy”?

Are Rifle Club residents single-issue voters?

Do those on Sundance name pets “Butch”? Do husbands on Thurston refer to their wives as “Lovey”? Can those on Valerie harmonize on that one Monkees song?

Do singles on Wellesley wind up marrying people who live on Harvard?

Do those living on Wild Turkey have a predictable favorite bourbon?

Today’s Slice question: Should local TV news run with Slice reader Wade Griffith’s suggestion and come up with an Armageddon-esque name for our spring weather?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. Check out The Slice Blog at www.spokesman.com. Several readers have trouble keeping “Greg” and “Craig” straight.

More from this author