The Slice: Words + punctuation = a life of complete excitement!!!!!

The Slice has managed to land an interview with the Spokane emailer/texter who uses the most exclamation points.

This Q-and-A was conducted online.

To protect him or her from arrest by the grammar police, I will not reveal this individual’s name. In any event, you won’t believe what he or she had to say.

Q: So what’s with all the emphatic punctuation?

A: I believe it conveys energy and excitement.

Q: You don’t think it’s sort of like shouting all the time?

A: Heck, no!!!!!!!

Q: But shouldn’t the quality of your thoughts and the manner in which you express them be what matters to those reading your messages?

A: Exclamation points help me do just that. Duh!!!!!!

Q: Didn’t a middle school English teacher ever try to cure you of this?

A: LOL!!!!! You are so angry and irrelevant!

Q: But don’t you see that if every statement is followed by an exclamation point, subtlety and nuance go out the window?

A: I get it! I know why you are angry! Your life is boring and you are jealous of all of us who are living large. Admit it!!!!!

Q: I think you are taking this personally, and I’m sorry about that. In truth, punctuation abuse is rampant in Spokane. It’s not just you. But don’t you see that simply tacking on exclamation points doesn’t make a sentence sizzle if the statement doesn’t warrant special emphasis?

A: OMG! I just figured out your problem! You have low blood-sugar! You should have that checked, or maybe start drinking coffee! Wake up and smell the urgency, dude!

Q: But don’t exclamation points lose their power with overuse?

A: Arrrrrggghhhhh!!!!!!!! You just don’t get it!!!!!!! They demonstrate that you are important and what you have to say is, too. Restraint is for losers!!!!! Got it????

Q: Yep. Thanks for your time.

A: No prob!!!!

Today’s Slice question: Do you chime in on each and every conversation you overhear?