Fiancée calls it off; she’s ‘not ready’
Tue., Nov. 1, 2011
Dear Annie: My fiancée, “Beth,” and I have been together for more than two years. Recently, she called off our wedding, saying she isn’t ready. The wedding was planned for a year in the future, so I am grateful she told me now.
A few weeks later, we decided to take a break and work on the relationship. We live in separate houses. Beth has a full-time job. I am in school and work part time. We used to see each other every day. Now, although we still talk daily, I only see her twice a week at most.
Beth is talking to a counselor about her issues, and we have started couples counseling. One of our main problems is that she becomes distant when things aren’t going well and subconsciously pushes me away. I have never loved and trusted anyone as much as I do her. How can I support and help her? – Confused in California
Dear Confused: You already are being supportive by attending counseling sessions and not pushing Beth to make decisions any sooner than she is able. We hope counseling will help you reach a satisfactory resolution. If so, your relationship will be stronger than ever. But please understand it is also possible that underlying issues will come to light and one of you might decide that marriage is not in the cards. This is neither good nor bad. It is simply how things sometimes work out.
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