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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Unhappy with husband’s demands

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I have been married for a long time to a very social guy. I am not. I suffer from depression and chronic pain. I have a small home business and do most of the household chores. Most days, I am weary simply getting through the day.

The problem comes from all the activities he joins. I don’t mind that he does. I actually encourage him to do what makes him happy. The problem is, as his wife, he expects me to take part in every event.

I have suggested that I come to some, but not all. He does not like this solution and becomes angry and resentful, making me feel guilty. We have had this problem our entire marriage. His interests and mine do not coincide for the most part, nor does he enjoy my friends. It’s as if my life is supposed to revolve around him. How can I make him see that his demands aren’t fair to me and I am doing the best I can? – Unhappy with the Status Quo

Dear Unhappy: Your husband may erroneously believe that it would help your depression and pain if you were more involved, but participating in something you don’t enjoy is unlikely to alleviate your problems. Your efforts to compromise are good, and your husband should be more accepting of your limitations and preferences. You might offer to go a little more often if he will back off on the rest.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.