Brother abandons family over money

Dear Annie: My 64-year-old brother has refused to talk to my 86-year-old father for nearly 10 years. When our mother died, Dad married a nice Christian widow. He then sold the family home. He and his new wife built a new one in another town.

My brother still thinks Dad should have split the sale profit with his children since half the house belonged to our mother. As far as I am concerned, Dad was not obligated to do this. By law, my mother’s assets passed to her surviving spouse, which means Dad owned the house outright. He lives solely on his Social Security benefits and needed the money.

My brother has had multiple sclerosis for 30 years. He and his family struggled financially, and my parents gave them a lot of money over the years to keep them afloat. For my brother to want more is shocking. My other siblings and I don’t feel entitled to any of Dad’s money.

My brother’s children are grown. When his daughter married four years ago, he didn’t invite Dad to the wedding. She is expecting a child, and Dad learned about it through other family members. He is deeply hurt by this. Dad’s health is starting to deteriorate. He has tried to make contact with my brother several times, to no avail.

My siblings are ready to give up. Our brother spends no holidays with us and doesn’t get in touch for any reason. I suggested Dad leave him alone. There is nothing he can do at this point. Do you agree? If not, what do you suggest? – Puzzled in Indiana

Dear Indiana: How sad that your brother is willing to abandon his family over money. After 10 years, it’s doubtful he will rethink his sense of entitlement. We suggest you keep in touch on a Christmas-card level, sending birthday wishes once a year, keeping him updated about Dad’s health. He may not respond, but it requires only minimal effort and leaves the door open should he ever change his mind.