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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Adult children can pay their way

Kathy Mitchell

Dear Annie: My husband and I have five adult children between us, all making a good living. Some of our children expect us to pay their airfare to come visit us, in addition to picking them up at the airport, being their taxi service so they can go out drinking at night and letting them use our car. At no time does anyone put gas in the car or even treat us to a cheap breakfast.

During a recent visit, we made reservations for dinner with one son, his girlfriend, their daughter (who lives nearby) and the daughter’s boyfriend. That morning, my husband drove them to the beach (10 miles away). They then called to say they ate a late lunch and asked that we push back the reservation and that my husband pick them up from the daughter’s house and bring them home to change. It seems the daughter didn’t want to drive the 10 miles to our house.

I adamantly said no to my 74-year-old husband. These “kids” are so self-absorbed that they think nothing of forcing us to accommodate their schedules with no thought to ours. I have told my husband that from now on, the kids must rent their own car when visiting. I’m tired of being their private chauffeur. Am I overreacting? – Selfish Guests No Longer Welcome

Dear Guests: Of course not. If your children are old enough to have kids of their own, they should not need to be driven around by their parents. But we recommend a tactful approach. For the next visit, simply say, “We wish we could pick you up at the airport, but it won’t be possible. We suggest you rent a car so you can have your independence.” You also can mention how nice it would be if they treated their folks to a meal once in a while to thank them for their hospitality.

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