The Slice: Which look will suit you best this summer?

Now that winter is officially over, it’s time to answer your questions about swimsuits.

Q. What is a modesty panel?

A. That’s a group of busybody neighbors who convene to critique what members of your family have been wearing while sunbathing in the backyard or washing the car.

Q. Is there anything unique about the Inland Northwest’s attitudes about swimsuits?

A. No, it’s pretty much the usual mix of exhibitionist youth, insecure adults and delusional lakegoers who don’t understand that “less is more” can be a disastrous policy in this context.

Q. When will I get over the shock of no longer looking like my 19-year-old self in a swimsuit?

A. When you die.

Q. Is it possible to tell when someone is staring in a lustful way vs. staring like a gawker driving past an accident scene?

A. Usually.

Q. Do any men still refer to their suits as “trunks”?

A. Yes, at least a dozen.

Q. Any tips on shopping for a new swimsuit?

A. Select one that will be comfortable. And it’s a good idea to get the opinion of someone who loves you but does not fear you before making the purchase.

Q. So what’s the secret to being relaxed and poised in a swimsuit if your body is startlingly normal?

A. The secret is having a self-image shaped by the stuff that actually matters in life. Easier said than done.

Q. Do people get tired of hearing me say, “Boy, you should have seen me back in the day”?

A. Nah. They understand. But with any luck, they see a lot of things when they look at you today — not just a few extra pounds. They see a person they’re proud to know.

Q. Does the fact that summer is the Spokane area’s favorite season mean that, as a region, we have overcome swimsuit phobia?

A. Hahahahaha. OK, sure.

Q. Do I still have time to get in shape before summer?

A. As a wise man once said, I begged you to get some therapy.

Today’s Slice question: There was the “Summer of Love” back in the ’60s. And a serial killer in New York City had some there referring to the “Summer of Sam” in the ’70s. But, with only one season to go before it’s here, what should we name the coming summer in the Inland Northwest?

Several readers will receive coveted reporter’s notebooks.