Dear Annie: My son’s father, “Joe,” and I divorced when “Bobby” was very young. Joe remarried and moved to another state. When Bobby was 11, I thought it best for him to go live with his dad so he could have a male role model. Joe was always a good father, just a lousy husband.
Despite financial hardship, I eventually moved to the same state. The problem was Joe’s wife. She did everything possible to interfere with my relationship with Bobby, including intercepting phone messages and opening his mail, not giving my name to the school as an emergency contact, giving me false information about Bobby’s schedule, and blatantly lying to Joe about everything she and I discussed. Worse, she told Bobby I didn’t care about him.
The last time I heard Bobby’s voice was a message he left on Mother’s Day five years ago. The last time I saw him was at his high school graduation, after which he and his father and stepmother moved to another state where Bobby started college. I have tried to contact him multiple times, to no avail.
I believe he has since discovered the truth, but has not yet called me. At this point, I think he’s just embarrassed. But I need him to know something: There is nothing he could do or say that would make me love him less. He is my son. I love him and I miss him. There will be no blame. All he has to do is walk through the front door and say, “Mom, what’s for dinner?” – Waiting Patiently
Dear Waiting: We hope he sees this and will do just that. Meanwhile, please call Joe directly and ask him to tell Bobby that you love him and miss him.
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