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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: You can take it or leaf it

Your attitude about leaf-raking can be used to identify your personality profile.

Which best describes you?

Take-charge achiever: You enjoy vigorous leaf-raking and feel confident that you look great in sweaters.

Passive dreamer: You hope a big wind comes along after all the leaves are down and somehow blows all of yours away without depositing anyone else’s leaves in your yard.

Command and control: You hire someone to do it.

Visionary: You live in an apartment/condo. Or you go in for xeriscaping.

Problem solver: You bribe your kids into doing it.

Inspirer: You like to stand around offering encouragement to those doing the actual raking.

Bandwagon alum: You enjoy pulling on an alma mater sweatshirt and raking in the front yard on the day after your college won a football game.

Spokane loser: Who has time to rake when there’s weapons to brandish at 2 a.m. at parties attended by other drunken, emotionally stunted dropouts and substance-abusing yellers of incomprehensible challenges?

Fred or Ginger: You regard the rake as your dance partner as you fluidly whirl and glide across the lawn.

Enabler: Your useless son says he can’t rake because he pulled a groin while texting, and you let him get away with it.

Zen master: You view raking as a way to attain enlightenment.

Humorless grind: You rake as if you are mad at the trees for littering your yard.

Nurturer: When your kids put down their rakes and start jumping into big piles of leaves, you smile.

Truth-teller: After a family member does a poor job of raking, you freely note this.

Blamer: You say “Missed a spot” about 50 times.

Well poisoner: You accuse the person doing all the work of using leaf-raking as a way of avoiding talking about the relationship.

Multitasker: You embrace raking as a high-rep shoulder workout.

Normal person: You rake because they’re there.

Leader/Object of ridicule: You start raking on Oct. 5.

Today’s Slice question: What Inland Northwest infant was seen in person by the greatest number of people before his or her first birthday?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Name-dropping loses a little something if your audience has never heard of the person.

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