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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Not ready to leave her home for his

Kathy Mitchell

Dear Annie: I am in my late 70s and have been with a wonderful man for some time now. “Joe” and I both lost our spouses several years ago. We each own our own homes and are debt-free, although I have to watch my finances more closely.

Joe has asked me to sell my house and move in with him, but I have mixed emotions regarding our relationship. Although he has a very nice home, I am quite comfortable in my own place. To simply move in together without being married makes me wonder about his level of commitment to me.

Joe is a kind and caring person. He has told me I can stay in his home for a lifetime should something happen to him. What if I moved in with him and then our relationship changed for the worse? I would no longer have a home, and at my age, it would be very difficult to begin all over. Should I just end the relationship now and be alone? I truly love this man, but I am at a crossroads. – Torn in Toledo

Dear Torn: When someone asks you to move in with him, and you aren’t ready to do so, the answer is a simple “no.” You don’t have to end the relationship over it. If you need a commitment to marry before moving in, say so. Joe cannot read your mind. If he doesn’t wish to marry you, feel free to continue to date him, but keep your own home. You’ll feel more secure.