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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Growth spurts spawn unbridled excitement

So it turns out little kids grow up.

I think I knew this. But apparently I go overboard when noting that children I had not seen for a year are taller than when I saw them in December of 2013.

I say that because a few parents have given me a look.

It’s a look that says “Are you implying that my daughter/son is abnormal? Are you suggesting that she/he has undergone a grotesque growth spurt?”

All right, maybe I am exaggerating. The parents in question are all good people. And I am sure they realize that, to me, their kids are growing up at time-lapse speed.

Still, I probably need to tone it down. The way I have been going on at various social gatherings lately, parents probably have a right to wonder if I suspect they have their offspring on steroids.

In truth, it’s not my intention to suggest that these children fall hideously outside statistical norms. Nor is it my goal to sound like a freelance spotter of incipient gigantism.

I just get excited about seeing kids grow up. It floors me when I observe a child change, almost overnight, from a rug rat to a small person. And then, from a small person to a not-so-small person.

Believe me, my intentions were the best when I blurted “That kid is HUGE!”

I have seen the error of my ways though.

I do not plan to begin ignoring the children I encounter on an annual basis. But I vow to discontinue my habit of seemingly being startled by their enormity.

Slice answer: “For many years we have kept two rather elaborate grab-and-go emergency kits and update food and other items in them regularly,” wrote Bill Mahaney. “We have two because, initially, we had Carol’s mom with us, four cats, and two cars. We still have two cars and three cats. We can jam everything into one car if absolutely necessary. The kits will also be of use if we are stranded here for several days. If you had gone through the Blizzard of 1978 in Peabody, Mass., you’d have emergency kits too.”

Today’s Slice question: Is your policy on resolutions guided more by self-knowledge or fantasy?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Instead of “Mr. Martini, how about some wine?” Bill Hudson thinks it could be “Mr. Hudson, how about some Goatmeal Stout?”

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