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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Let’s kick off your Monday with Bonanza of personality traits

What’s your TV western personality profile?

Here’s a list designed to help you find out. And feel free to assign profiles to friends and family. Trust me, they’ll love it.

Ben: You are steady and honest but your wives don’t live long.

Little Joe: You crack yourself up.

Hoss: Strong, moral and somewhat easily duped.

Adam: Dependable but a little smug.

Hop Sing: Hard working but sometimes baffled by Americans.

Jarrod: A bit of a dandy.

Nick: Erratic, angry all the time.

Heath: Good-hearted, tight pants.

Audra: Beautiful but boring.

Victoria: Elegant and classy.

Silas: You spend a lot of time being told what to do by white people.

Matt: Strong, brave, determined.

Doc: Irascible but dedicated.

Kitty: Even tempered, good manager.

Festus: A little rough around the edges, but reliable.

Chester: You limp but it does not define you.

Lucas: You just want to live in peace but trouble always seems to find you.

Mark: You are a well-intentioned kid.

Micah: A little crotchety, nearing retirement.

Palladin: You read newspapers and possess carnal appetites.

Hey Boy: You actually have a real name, but no one seems to realize that.

Rowdy: A bit of a complainer.

Wishbone: You mutter a lot because you are underappreciated.

Mr. Favor: Not known for your sense of humor.

Trampas: People take you for granted.

Al Swearengen: You are known for your colorful vernacular.

Reese: You always sound like you are hoarse from yelling.

Big Swede: You share this nickname with 200 other guys in Spokane.

Manolito: Known for your winning smile.

Wrangler Jane: You are in a love with a decent guy who is a bit of a dope.

Today’s Slice question: Does the approach of 2015 make you wish you could call a time-out?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Keeping your toast short is usually a good idea.

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