Gannon just a phone call away; L.A. not so close

So how did my stepson Isaiah Eisendorf end up at Division II Gannon University in Erie, Pennsalvania? They called and offered him a basketball scholarship, that’s how. Or, to paraphrase Woody Allen, “Seventy percent of success in life is answering the phone.”

Frankly, when Isaiah first mentioned Gannon, it sounded to me like a fictional school from a “National Lampoon” movie.

It turns out it’s a fine educational institution with about 3,000 undergraduates, and the Golden Knights have the 12th-highest winning percentage in the history of Division II men’s basketball.

Isaiah’s good fortune – and give the lad credit, because he earned it through solid work on the court and in the classroom at Springbrook High School in Silver Spring, Maryland – reverberated in many corners.

His father, I’m sure, is happy he doesn’t have to worry about tuition, room and board for the next four years.

His mother, I’m sure, is happy that her beloved first-born has a chance to pursue his academic and athletic dreams in a great environment.

And the U.S. Postal Service, I’m sure, is happy for the uptick in business as Toni, a.k.a. She Is The One (And Then Some), ships Isaiah banana bread and mac-and-cheese care packages every third day.

But there is a minor drawback or two.

Did I mention Gannon is in Erie, Pa.? Erie is a lovely town, particularly if you have a wood-burning fireplace and thermal underwear. Erie was the snowiest U.S. city with a population over 100,000 last year. Meanwhile, I don’t want to say Isaiah is warm-blooded, but he shivers when he watches “Northern Exposure” reruns.

Also, we live in Los Angeles at the moment. L.A. is very large and has lots of suburbs, but Erie is not one of them, so we won’t be able to attend most games. Thankfully, Gannon home contests are streamed online for $7 a pop; heck, I’ll just pick up a couple of In ‘N Out burgers and a cheap cabernet, and that’s like a night out on the town without leaving home for under a double sawbuck.

This Gannon team should be pay-per-view worthy. The Golden Knights were 20-10 last season, advancing to the second round of the NCAA Division II tournament, and return four starters, including sublime guard Adam Blazek, an All-American candidate.

Coach John T. Reilly – a Bowie State grad – is in his 10th season at Gannon, with a 161-96 record; he’s been Pennsylvania State Athletic Conference Western Division coach of the year two straight seasons.

Reilly is now in charge of Isaiah – better him than me – and says my 6-foot-6 stepson will be one of two freshmen (along with Adam Holm-Weber) who get playing time this season.

“I don’t think he’s come close to scratching his potential,” Reilly said. “He’s physically mature; he can play multiple positions and he shoots the ball a lot better than I thought he would. …We’re challenging him to get out of his comfort zone.”

I used to challenge Isaiah to wake up before noon on weekends and failed.

But as Reilly noted, “I’ve made a living out of making people do things they don’t like to do.”

Anyway, with the season starting this week, I decided to check in with Isaiah. We exchanged texts – I discovered a long time ago that, even if we’re in a car together, he’ll only talk to me via messaging – and I told him I was writing a Gannon column and gave him the deadline in which I needed to speak to him.

He never got back to me.

I don’t know if this reflects more on the state of journalism these days, on my ever-flagging career, or on my abundantly woeful step-parenting skills, but think about it: I could not get a comment from my own stepson for an article I was writing ON HIM.

(Geez. The toughest question I was going to ask was, “Do you miss your sister Mia?”)

Good luck, Coach Reilly.

It’s a good thing the kid can rebound in his sleep.

Ask The Slouch

Q. You raved about Johnny Manziel, who’s thrown one pass this season. You think he’s headed to the SEC Network to join Tim Tebow? (John O’Connor; Katy, Texas)

A. Manziel’s time will come – and it may even be this season. Meanwhile, who among you had the Cleveland Browns as a Team of Destiny? I did. They’re 6-3, possibly Super Bowl-bound, and Johnny Football still might throw the pass that gets them there.

Q. Is there anything about college football you ever like? (Paul Schmidt; Richmond, Virginia)

A. I tape the East-West Shrine Game every January.

Q. Now that the New England Patriots seem to have righted the ship, will they transfer the Aaron Hernandez bail bond money to the Roger Goodell defense fund? (Tom Leupp; Middleburg, Virginia)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.