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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: The gift of letter critiques

Let’s review some letters to Santa written by kindergarten kids at the Pioneer School in Spokane Valley.

(Thanks to Betty Burley-Wolf for sharing them.)

Dear Santa,

How is Rudolph? I love you Santa. I want a notebook and TV in my bedroom. Merry Christmas!

Love, Kaiya

She probably isn’t referring to a coveted reporter’s notebook.

Dear Santa,

How are the elves doing? How is Rudolph? Are you getting ready for Chirstmas?

Love, Sabrina

It’s often helpful to say what you want.

Dear Santa,

How are the elves doing? I want a big pillow and a ginormous dollhouse for Chirstmas.

Love, Amelie

That size may no longer be in stock.

Dear Santa,

I want a Santa lego set and a race track for Christmas. I also want a golden retriever puppy.

Love, Nic

Who doesn’t?

Dear Santa,

I want a ship for Christmas.

Micah

Sometimes it is a good idea to be specific.

Dear Santa,

I am excited for Christmas. I want a big lego set for my brother.

Love, Owen

Is this kid proposing a trade?

Dear Santa,

How old are you Santa? I am 6. I want a 10 foot unicorn lego set.

Love, Molly

It is illegal to ask Santa his age.

Dear Santa,

Can I have a 4 foot raft for Christmas. I also want a Santa lego set.

Love, Carter

Way to get to the point.

Dear Santa,

I love you Santa. how old is Rudolph? I want for Christmas a spy set. I also want a Pokemon phone.

Love, Claire

Should this be forwarded to Homeland Security?

Dear Santa,

How is Rudolph? How are the other reindeer? I love you Santa. I want a pencil sharpener in my room. Merry Chirstmas!

Love, Jacob

Seems doable.

Dear Santa,

How is Rudolph? I love you Santa. Did you have a good summer? Are you ready for Christmas?

Love, Avisha

Nice subtle hint at that end. Time to get on the stick, big man. Presumably a detailed list will be headed his way soon.

Today’s Slice question: We all know what “nice” means. But how would you define “naughty”?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. If we are what we eat, would it be fair to say that you are mostly leftovers?

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