The Slice: These folks take care of both sides of the Q&A

Let’s review what “local leaders” have been up to lately.

It’s easy. I just searched the S-R’s digital archives for recent occurrences of the phrase “local leaders.”

Well, it probably won’t surprise you that they have been feeling pressure to “come up with money for building and fixing roads.”

Maybe they can have a bake sale. Or a fun run.

On another occasion, it was reported that they “worried that traffic congestion would grow worse.”

Can you picture them wringing their hands?

Another S-R article noted that local leaders “have been eager to remove housing units from beneath the approach to Fairchild’s runway.”

But there was nothing about any of them firing up bulldozers.

We also learned that they “say railroads and government regulators must take more steps to prevent a disaster along the rails in Spokane.”

Or what?

Then there was the day they “arrived in Olympia for their annual three-day lobbying session.”

That’s called binge lobbying.

And did you know they “are looking for more transparency to minimize public distrust regarding officer-involved incidents”?

Is transparency like telling the truth?

A headline noted that local leaders “have questions.”

And here you thought they were supposed to have answers.

Newspaper readers also learned that local leaders “visited federal officials this year to lobby for the grant.”

In the time-honored tradition of rugged, independent Westerners.

But not to worry. Local leaders “are aware of the crisis.”

So we all can breathe easy.

Today’s Slice question: Are there any grade-school teachers in the Spokane area who would be willing to ask their pupils to write down step-by-step instructions for turning a pumpkin into a jack-o’-lantern and then share those directions with The Slice?

Yes, this is a lot like children’s instructions for preparing a Thanksgiving dinner. Sue me.

I’m happy to abide by any rules the teachers want to establish. You know, first names only for the kids. No allusions to Satanism. You name it.

Thanks in advance.