The Slice: Will rake for a pile of your answers

If you would like for me to come help rake your leaves when the time is right, just get back to me with your answers to these questions.

I’ll pick a winner soon and we can make plans.

How good is the hot chocolate you serve?

How big is your yard?

How often do you begin sentences with “The problem with The Spokesman-Review is…”?

The last time I did this, in 2008, the delightful older lady my wife and I met in Coeur d’Alene had some pretty entertaining pets (that we still talk about). What’s the antic animal situation at your place?

Will you be a good sport about it if my occasional shoulder problem flares up before I can get to the raking?

Have you ever seen yourself as Aunt Bea in that episode of “The Andy Griffith Show” in which Otis has to serve his short jail term at the Taylor home and she runs him ragged?

Do you know the difference between OK cider and good cider?

You have rakes and all, right? I don’t do leaf-blowers.

Is it going to be weird if I ask to go inside and use the facilities?

Will you be offended if we don’t consider this a formal function of the Marmot Lodge?

How much pleasure do you derive from saying “Missed a spot”?

Ever yearned to play the role of Strother Martin’s character in “Cool Hand Luke”?

How closely does your weekend personality resemble the drill instructor in “Full Metal Jacket”?

Do you intend to greet me by grabbing my hands, feeling for callouses and then disdainfully pronouncing my mitts “city boy hands”?

What’s the fruit pie situation at your place?

OK if we don’t talk politics?

What’s the dog droppings/leaves ratio in your backyard?

Do you want a coveted reporter’s notebook?

Are you going to try to get me to sign a waiver?

Will you believe me when I tell you that yours sounds like a terrific family but I had to pick just one winner?

Today’s Slice question: What percentage of Inland Northwesterners have never set foot in a barn?