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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Suitcase full of surprises

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist. (The Spokesman-Review)
Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist. (The Spokesman-Review)

Let me share one more of these and then move on to new business.

“Many years ago, my mom and her sister were driving back from Seattle,” wrote Lea Sammons of Sandpoint.

At Ritzville, they stopped and rearranged the luggage. “When they got back on the road they were surprised at how friendly all the people were, honking and waving. My mom and her sister smiled and waved back.”

They did not realize they had a suitcase on the roof of the car until a state trooper pulled them over and pointed it out.

How viewers would react if you became a Spokane TV news anchor: David Rolando, a sixth grade teacher at Hutton Elementary, had an answer. “All of my 1,000 or so past students would be exclaiming, ‘Voices! Where are the voices? He always does voices when reads to us. Why no voices?’ ”

Doing voices when quoting various newsmakers could be entertaining. Anchors could make local elected officials sound like Mickey Mouse or Elmer Fudd. They could use nasal, whiny voices when paraphrasing the lies of habitual criminals. They could inhale helium before quoting coaches.

Here’s a generations- bridging program you might not have heard about: Dana Freeborn glanced at an electronic reader board outside a Spokane middle school and mistakenly thought it said “Bring in your Coots for Kids.”

Irascible oldsters could lecture students about just how easy young people have it nowadays.

What to say to a raccoon: Spokane’s Joe Meyer was part of a group camping near the Washington coast when a large raccoon strolled into the camp site and started asking for spare change, or snacks maybe. The animal would reach out and accept offerings directly.

“One night he came in and started his show, so we all turned to watch him. But while he was distracting us, two of his buddies took off with our bag of cookies. I guess what we should have said was ‘Stop thief!’ ”

Today’s Slice question: What is the Spokane area’s best-dressed workplace?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Colville’s Dee Hunter wonders if guys affecting the facial stubble look find themselves rebuffed when pursuing certain forms of intimacy.

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